Showering

Hi. This is an experiment, as I'm sure most first time bloggers claim. I titled this "Mindbarf on Showering" because I think in the shower. It's not REALLY about showering you dirty people (that could be phrased way differently! I'll get to that...also, wow! A pun! I didn't plan it that way, but hey! I'll roll with it...) it's about my thoughts. So here's my thoughts about blogging... I have lots of things that I think about, and I like to believe that I think about them deeply and carefully, and I make my decisions in life thoughtfully, when given the chance of course. I once thought that being a teacher, I could share my thoughts with younger folks that could benefit from my life experiences. What I learned from that is that most people don't give a shit what I have to say. So what I used to think about blogging is, if no one gives a shit about what I have to say, why would anyone give a shit about what I have to write? Why waste my time doing that?! It's not that I wasn't a good teacher BTW, I was damn good at it. It's that many of my students didn't have the mental/emotional capacity or physical means to logistically commit what I wanted them to commit to my cause (that being music). I taught in some rough places and I have some stories about that! Maybe another time on another blog (assuming I keep it up, of course...) when I figure out how to tell those stories without sounding like I'm complaining. Do you see why I'm calling this Mindbarf yet? =) So some of my thoughts on blogging now are, while no one else may still give me a second thought, or first for that matter, on what I have to say, I can do this for myself. I can do this for my son and second child (gender unknown still). They will one day want to listen to me, and to hear my story. They'll be in their 30's most likely. That's when I started wanting to listen to my Dad again, with some exceptions of course... (another blog again) I also got very interested in my personal history, and if I do keep this up, I'll have something concrete to send down with me. I might have to print some of this at some point I guess... My grandparents generation had letters to track their history. My parents generation doesn't really have anything as far as I know, but we have this opportunity and maybe I should take it?! Ok. So I decided to do it. Now here's my questions: Do I write like this particular mindbarf? Where it's generally stream of consciousness writing (literally, mindbarf... ya see...?). Do I write about my thoughts on things that might upset people close to me? I feel strongly about things like religion and politics and while my thoughts are nothing monumental or groundbreaking, if I write my words precisely to what I think and/or feel, they may upset my close friends, family, and even my wife! Do I write with no regard and publish publicly or do I write for myself privately? Do I soften what I have to say and keep it public? Do write in such a way that I'm giving advice? I've read a couple blogs that were about parenting and written as advice columns and frankly, I thought those guys were full of poo...there's the other thing! Do I use my potty mouth? I did earlier, but just then I used "poo!" I am a Soldier, I can swear like one... I also have a master's degree in education (music education) and I know how to write with a more scholarly tone as well. My sister Heidi suggested blogging to me. Do I write on my memories of childhood knowing that it might upset you Heids? I don't want to do that. That year when we weren't talking really sucked. A lot. But I had some very intense experiences as a child and writing about it (finally) could lead me to realizations and growth, as well as give me a place I can send people when they question my reasons for doing things or don't understand me. That sounds pretty cool actually, "I don't have the time to explain this to you, go read my blog!" That would be nice... Then there's even more important questions! Do I use Paragraphs!?!? Nah.... I can be pretty unforgiving with politics too. If I see a big picture thing, such as: It's not the government that's screwing you (I'm a Teacher and a Soldier, it's ME they're screwing!), it's large corporations that bought the government in the 80's and 90's and if you're too ignorant to see that, I might offend you. I probably just did. Oops. Obviously, there's more to that statement then the little bit right there, again, another blog for another day. My adult life has been pretty "interesting" too, a failed career a lost house... Do people really want to hear about my depressing career decisions? I don't really post about it on the facebooks because, "laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you're on your own you wuss." On the other hand, my marriage is really strong. Very strong (Until I blog about religion... Oyve!!! I will be in trouble then!). I'm also a damn good Father. Bad career but great family. I feel like that's a win for me, and my working days ain't over yet! BTW, losing the house may sound bad, but in the end, it was lucky for us that we did, and I'm glad to be free of that place. I still have a chance to make a career work. Maybe this Army thing will work out! So! In summary, lots to say, lots to think about, lots of people that I will potentially offend, Is this really a good idea?! I'll have time to do it for at least the next two weeks. I could tell you where I am, but then I'd have to kill you =) (Army training away from the Fam, but always OPSEC which = operational security). Good night y'all.