DOMA

The Defense of Marriage Act. Marriage (or civil union) rights for Gay people. No brainer to me. But I always get the feeling that people don't know where I stand... Really?!?! So. Let's chit chat... First off, what prompted this? Well a friend of mine who I respect greatly said something about cynical people supporting the DOMA cause, but not thinking that changing their profile will do anything. I'm that person. I'm the cynical one that believes changing a profile pic is about as useful as a trailer hitch on a geo metro... But I also feel like I've probably said some things that I meant to be funny that were probably highly offensive and maybe I owe it to him to support the cause publicly. I know I've said stupid crap in the past...

Quick story... In college a very close friend of mine once heard me make a pretty offensive gay joke. Unbeknownst to me, she was exploring that option in her life. My stupid joke hurt her. She later confronted me about my immature and hurtful commentary. I was embarrassed and hurt that she didn't share that part of her life with me before I stuck my foot in my mouth. She made a big deal later on out of introducing me to her girlfriend. A really big deal. When I finally did meet my friends girlfriend, what I met was an awkward young lady who knew her sexuality, but didn't know who she was yet. She was the first outwardly Gay person I had (knowingly) met. My reaction was along the lines of "Oh. Why was that such a big deal?" I tell this story because my lesson in meeting my first openly gay person was that she was just a normal person. She had insecurities and whatnot just like everyone else. She wasn't more enlightened, she wasn't smarter (that I know of), and she wasn't a better or worse human being because she wasn't attracted to the opposite sex.

Anyway, I've grown more since college (duh) and I've said some stupid homophobic sounding stuff since then as well. I feel like I ought to clarify my stance...

 I'm a white, blonde (at least when I had hair I was), male that grew up in a poor household with neglectful parents (see the post I made in February 2012) in a pretty classless part of the world and in college I could be lumped in with the fraternity crowd (I was in a frat, but participated about as little as I could get away with, I didn't even live there!). Today I'm in the military and I'm surrounded by people whose talents generally do not lie in the realm of thinking. So now I'm tied to an organization whose people GENERALLY don't like Gay men and women (my unit in particular is not that way at all, but I only work with them around 16 hours a month, unfortunately for me...). People in this organization often make some pretty horrible jokes at the expense of Gay people.

Everything about who I am, where I'm from, and what I currently do screams "homophobe" it seems like...

That could not be more wrong.

I don't really respond or involve myself much to these discussions about civil rights for Gay people for the simple reason that I think it will happen. If it doesn't happen now, we'll have more national shame to deal with in future generations (we're really stackin' up the shameful behavior these days!), but it will happen. When I was a college kid my thought was "Of course! Why WOULDN'T Gay people get the same rights as everyone else?!" Even as a 35 year old man, I still naively wonder why this is still a discussion??

I still believe it's a no brianer. Gay people will get equal rights. Why wouldn't they? Seriously! Why wouldn't they? Because some religious nutjobs can't read/follow their own rulebook? Psh. Even with their ridiculous news entertainment tv station spouting their hate, it will happen.

I support the Defense of Marriage Act and the right of Gay people to join in the same loving harmony that I enjoy with my wife. It seems dumb not to. Of course everyone deserves to have a relationship that they are happy in and have it recognized by society.

(written in 2013, but I found it and posted it in 2017)